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  • About Alex

    You know what word I love? …Ossify. So simple to say and it sounds amazing leaving my untrammelled lips. The word itself means to convert into bone. I don’t know how to use it in a sentence, other than the sentence I just said. Hold up, I need another drink. Life is a beautiful sport, […] Read more

  • Feeling Suicidal…

    I won’t leave you again. With a hug or praying hands I would squeeze my trigger until I am sent on a downward chute. I have altered my altar. I could cut my losses in a blood red gloss, gory, because he’s in a loveless story. Too wasted to waste what I want. That is […] Read more

  • We Write Blogs

    I’m living forever, I will die as a blogging dead writer; the haze of pipedreams will eat my illumining soul and corrupt naturally my calm nature nastily. I’m flying off the walls as this is coming off my chest, as a child I ate crayons now as an adult I am chewing on the end […] Read more

  • Who Am I? 2

    Who Am I? 2

    Monsters dine here; bring your own knives and pitchforks. Flies buzz overhead feasting on what I have left; envious of them, I shouldn’t be here either.  Finger-nailing the cracks of paint hang nailing off from the wall, waiting, I fester all time. I hear a man’s laughter after my manslaughter; take me apart piece by […] Read more

  • The Immortal Memoirs – Chapter 2

    The Diary Of An Immortal Chapter 2 So once again, I stand on my castle tower staring at my kingdom, the sun has just set and a glow from the horizon still sits waiting to sleep, my only friend and greatest foe. The wind catches my cape and begins to make it almost alive in […] Read more

  • Should I Write?

    You can’t beat someone who never gives up. – Babe Ruth Sorry for the hiatus on the blog, sane people. I was having an awful couple of months when my brain wanted to relapse on me and want to give birth to all the evil thoughts stored up there all at once, but that’s neither […] Read more

  • About Alex

    You know what word I love? …Ossify. So simple to say and it sounds amazing leaving my untrammelled lips. The word itself means to convert into bone. I don’t know how to use it in a sentence, other than the sentence I just said. Hold up, I need another drink. Life is a beautiful sport, […]

    Read more

  • Feeling Suicidal…

    I won’t leave you again. With a hug or praying hands I would squeeze my trigger until I am sent on a downward chute. I have altered my altar. I could cut my losses in a blood red gloss, gory, because he’s in a loveless story. Too wasted to waste what I want. That is […]

    Read more

  • We Write Blogs

    I’m living forever, I will die as a blogging dead writer; the haze of pipedreams will eat my illumining soul and corrupt naturally my calm nature nastily. I’m flying off the walls as this is coming off my chest, as a child I ate crayons now as an adult I am chewing on the end […]

    Read more

  • Who Am I? 2

    Who Am I? 2

    Monsters dine here; bring your own knives and pitchforks. Flies buzz overhead feasting on what I have left; envious of them, I shouldn’t be here either.  Finger-nailing the cracks of paint hang nailing off from the wall, waiting, I fester all time. I hear a man’s laughter after my manslaughter; take me apart piece by […]

    Read more

  • The Diary Of An Immortal Chapter 2 So once again, I stand on my castle tower staring at my kingdom, the sun has just set and a glow from the horizon still sits waiting to sleep, my only friend and greatest foe. The wind catches my cape and begins to make it almost alive in […]

    Read more

  • Should I Write?

    You can’t beat someone who never gives up. – Babe Ruth Sorry for the hiatus on the blog, sane people. I was having an awful couple of months when my brain wanted to relapse on me and want to give birth to all the evil thoughts stored up there all at once, but that’s neither […]

    Read more

  • A Killer of Love – A quiet family meal, Grace sits up close to me so I can wipe her mouth when the food falls off from the fork. Alan sits shovelling mash potato into his mouth, slowly trudging his way through his meatballs. A male reporter mimes his way through a subtitled story on […]

    Read more

  • Just me and my world

    Hey guys. Thank you for the messages. How have you been?

    Read more

  • HOLLYWOOD IN FLAMES – The Serial Killer Part 2 – Hollywood in Flames. I kill and mangle insides without a second thought, but I love Grace more than life itself. I do wonder sometimes while she is within my arms if she will ever amount to being a monster like her mother. “Mommy’s going to […]

    Read more

  • Still Here

    I am still here. I’ve been busy working on my new novel. Sorry I had to disappear on everyone. I will keep you posted. Thanks for all the love. Drop me a message and I will reply. Be good to one another and I will see you all soon. Love you all! Alex

    Read more

  • About Alex

    You know what word I love? …Ossify. So simple to say and it sounds amazing leaving my untrammelled lips. The word itself means to convert into bone. I don’t know how to use it in a sentence, other than the sentence I just said. Hold up, I need another drink. Life is a beautiful sport, […] Read more

  • Feeling Suicidal…

    I won’t leave you again. With a hug or praying hands I would squeeze my trigger until I am sent on a downward chute. I have altered my altar. I could cut my losses in a blood red gloss, gory, because he’s in a loveless story. Too wasted to waste what I want. That is […] Read more

  • We Write Blogs

    I’m living forever, I will die as a blogging dead writer; the haze of pipedreams will eat my illumining soul and corrupt naturally my calm nature nastily. I’m flying off the walls as this is coming off my chest, as a child I ate crayons now as an adult I am chewing on the end […] Read more

  • Who Am I? 2

    Who Am I? 2

    Monsters dine here; bring your own knives and pitchforks. Flies buzz overhead feasting on what I have left; envious of them, I shouldn’t be here either.  Finger-nailing the cracks of paint hang nailing off from the wall, waiting, I fester all time. I hear a man’s laughter after my manslaughter; take me apart piece by […] Read more

  • The Immortal Memoirs – Chapter 2

    The Diary Of An Immortal Chapter 2 So once again, I stand on my castle tower staring at my kingdom, the sun has just set and a glow from the horizon still sits waiting to sleep, my only friend and greatest foe. The wind catches my cape and begins to make it almost alive in […] Read more

  • Should I Write?

    You can’t beat someone who never gives up. – Babe Ruth Sorry for the hiatus on the blog, sane people. I was having an awful couple of months when my brain wanted to relapse on me and want to give birth to all the evil thoughts stored up there all at once, but that’s neither […] Read more

Alexander Writes

Breaking Bad Love

Breaking Bad Love

You may believe this is a story of another broken-heart, but you’d be wrong. This is a story about overcoming Drug Addiction. I hope this helps you…

These Breaking bad thoughts shimmer to the surface, living in a fantasy world where I shiver in the darkness within a false high. Doped up to the eyeballs, this is where I fall from the sky; this is where I’ve lost my mind, right on. Black rainbows of love whilst living in the dark, I’m not supposed to grow in the shadows of a drug. I can’t sleep at night; I love you too much to close my eyes, to close this chapter of our lives we share together. They tell me “One day at a time” but days are no longer my problem, it’s the seconds I circle around when I think of your last kiss. One more hit and I’m done with this. I say I am done with you, but I know deep down I live under you, amazed by the clouds you show me. I loved you and I believed in you so much, if I knew your plans I would have never taken your hand and runaway. You feel so good it should be illegal.

These love drugs are teasing me, they do not love me the way I love them. You leave me speechless and breathless; this is our dirty little secret which keeps me restless, I will never speak of this. Reality, she means nothing to me now, I’m in love with the voice and the feel of you. You’re the real eye-candy, I want to show you off but at the same time keep you to myself, you make me nail-bitingly selfish. It’s always the last time, but with every kiss feels like our first. I’m cheating on my basic motor-functions with you. This is my love letter to you, after this we will be done.

I can no longer tell what is real and what is not, this was your doing. This broken heart and endless turns within these covers will be my punishment for leading you down my path. Crying with a glass of water held by a shaking hand, you bring me no joy in doing this. Time to love what is good for me, not love what I want. A fresh breeze runs over my pale skin. I will no longer listen to the voices or even pick up that phone, I want my life back! I want pain, I want my talent back, I want my family and most of all I want my girlfriend; you stole this from me.

I know I will open up books in the future and see your devastating face as you destroy someone else’s existence. But they will have to pull through your chill by their selves, I cannot help. I must dump you now down the toilet of forever. I can hear you shouting “How will you survive without me?!” Do you really want to know how I will survive? …Like this, by myself. I’m going to get myself rich, buy myself a time-machine and throw you out before you got here, only so you know. Just like you, you won’t see me coming.

I’m clawing my way back to the light from your tantalizing siren love song, now I’m pissed off, no one can control this mental patient, I am ultimate; I will be forever. Life is my drug now and you mean nothing to me, it’s over now… leave.


9 responses to “Breaking Bad Love”

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