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Feeling Suicidal…

I won’t leave you again. With a hug or praying hands I would squeeze my trigger until I am sent on a downward chute. I have altered my altar. I could cut my losses in a blood red gloss, gory, because he’s in a loveless story. Too wasted to waste what I want. That is a tough pill to swallow, not for me; I could gulp down a gallon, never gagging. Death will never happen, not to me, I will be that person that wins life. I am that loser. You can have all my hurt and regret, I would not want to infect your soul with my dirt. I am a broken beauty; it’s never in the eyes of the beholder, not when it’s my eye’s I will be holding. How can I escape me? These blasted memories are suicide. All I can do is stand as man and fight what I am. Just because I smile doesn’t mean I am like you.

If you or anyone is having problems, there is always help out there. You can always message me, I reply back to everyone.

Samaritans (United Kingdom)

Telephone – 116 123

Suicide and Crisis lifeline (North America)

Telephone – 988

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Comments (

6

)

  1. The Creative Chic

    Powerful words beautiful friend. I hope you’re well ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. alexander87writer

      I am, my lovely. Just going through the motions like everyone else. How are you and life? ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The Creative Chic

        I’m glad you’re well. I am too ❤️ I understand about going through the motions. I’m always here for you and I hope you know that.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. alexander87writer

        Of course I know that. Where else would I go, my love.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. craig lock

    Reblogged this on From Darkness into the Light and commented:
    “One cannot always tell what it is that keeps us shut in, confines us,
    seems to bury us, but still one feels certain barriers, certain gates,
    certain walls. is all this imagination, fantasy?”

    https://craigsquotes.wordpress.com/category/andre-agassi/
    https://craigsbooks.wordpress.com/2022/01/13/and-as-imagination-bodies-forth-the-forms-of-things-unknown-the-poets-pen/

    https://craigsbooks.wordpress.com/2022/01/20/ernest-hemingway-quotes-goodreads-craigs-quotes/

    Hi Alexander

    Thanks for the follow (+ the ‘likes'(s)
    Happy blogging/writing and all the best with your blog
    “sleepy-head  craig (in “Sleepy Hollow”)

    http://www.craigsblogs.wordpress.com
    http://www.craigsbooks.wordpress.com

    “It always seems impossible¦
    until it gets done”
    -Nelson Mandela
    http://www.mandelamadiba.wordpress.com
    http://www.craigsquotes.wordpress.com

    You CAN…if you THINK you can

    “Put your fears behind you and your dreams in front of you…always.”

    Best wishes from the First City to see the light

    PPS

    Don’t worry about the world ending today
    It’s already tomorrow in scenic and tranquil ˜little™ New Zealand


    ######################

    œOne cannot always tell what it is that keeps us shut in, confines us, seems to bury us, but still one feels certain barriers, certain gates, certain walls. is all this imagination, fantasy? ¦.
    https://craigsquotes.wordpress.com/category/andre-agassi/
    https://craigsbooks.wordpress.com/2022/01/13/and-as-imagination-bodies-forth-the-forms-of-things-unknown-the-poets-pen/
    https://craigsbooks.wordpress.com/2022/01/20/ernest-hemingway-quotes-goodreads-craigs-quotes/
    Hi
    Thanks for the follow (+ the ˜likes'(s)
    Happy blogging/writing and all the best with your blog
    craig
    http://www.craigsblogs.wordpress.com
    http://www.craigsbooks.wordpress.com
    œIt always seems impossible¦
    Best wishes from the First City to see the light

    PPS
    Don™t worry about the world ending today
    it™s already tomorrow in scenic and tranquil ˜little™ New Zealand
    https://resources.stuff.co.nz/content/dam/images/4/y/r/n/6/a/image.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Diana Portman

    I get this, I feel the same a lot of the times. Try to reach out for help is all I can say. It’s not the life you want to live either I suppose.

    Liked by 1 person

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