I’m living forever, I will die as a blogging dead writer; the haze of pipedreams will eat my illumining soul and corrupt naturally my calm nature nastily. I’m flying off the walls as this is coming off my chest, as a child I ate crayons now as an adult I am chewing on the end of my pen, not much has changed. Maybe this writing business is for me, the page is laid out before me, puke. This website is my last stand, and my words are my last resort, I catch-a-phrase and head back the way. Fill these pages with shock value to fill those pockets with evil money to enrich that soul full of peace, I need a piece, please. I’m losing touch with reality because I’m thinking thoughts; won’t you step into my fantasy world?
The Tale of the Not-So Grateful King
There once was a king of Sluinn who was in love with the most beautiful black haired maiden in the land. He made the young maiden, Lucia, his queen, post haste; as he knew that he could love no other and nothing as much. At this time he was a gracious king, he helped feed his kingdom, he kept a clean and prosperous land which no other line beyond had, all his lands people loved him.
One day as the king and queen rode horse-back in the woods; an assassin sprung an attempt on both their lives. The blackened mask of the assassin had the emblem of a scorpion; he was from the evil tribe of Pion, far beyond the snowy mountains of the north.
“What do you want? Guards! Guards!” Lucia chants.
The king motioned his horse in front of the Lucia’s to protect her. The assassin drags his sword from his holster, taking swings at the king’s feet.
From out of nowhere a spiralling blade propels from the bushes, sticking into the hired-knives neck, killing him.
The guards finally arrive, circling the king with their spears and swords. A ruffled man exits the cobwebs of branches, without a care in the world upon his face.
The king bypasses his supposed guard and trots up to the scruffian with so much pride stance within his stare.
“My name is King Orwin, I rule Sluinn and everything that has colour within our beautiful world. You have saved mine and my wife’s life, name your price and it shall be granted.”
“My name is Gossoon sire and all I ask is a few pennies to see my belly get full tonight.” He pleads with his hands together.
“My fellow saviour, I have left my pouch back at Castle Grey, we have no money here. If you return back with us I will fill your pockets with as much gold and bread as you can carry.” The king proclaims with a bow of his head.
“My gracious king, I am on a path home, I have not seen my family within ten years, and if I return with you it will be another day too long. Forgive me.” Gossoon bows his regrets.
“Well you will not go free without a token.” The king insists.
“Sire, I will be arriving back here within one year, if possible I can collect my reward then?” Gossoon gulps in hope.
“I now know that the tribe Pion are advancing an attack because of this attempt and you have saved my life. Within one year, you can return and ask me for anything within my world and it shall be granted, young Gossoon.” The king, queen and troops turn and hike back towards the castle and Gossoon continues on his travels.
A war broke out within Sluinn between the king’s army and the tribe Pion. It raged on for several months. But in the end, the king was victorious. He had now become the wealthiest man upon the planet, his country size doubled. And it was all because of one man’s kind nature to save another human being.
Now the king had become so powerful and rich, he had also gained paranoia and an anger problem, thinking people were going to try and steal what he had taken in conquer. It had reached the eleventh month of the year and the king started to over think everything, believing the stranger who saved his life so long ago, would come and bow at his feet and ask for his full bank.
The king commanded his guards to arrest the stranger on sight and bring him forth to the king. As the twelfth month gleamed and died, the stranger travelled back to Sluinn to collect his reward. He was captured and chained and dragged to the king’s court to be heard. Gossoon was thrown on the floor. The king sat next to his wife Lucia within giant golden thrones.
“You have come to take my money, haven’t you stranger?” The king hisses.
“Sire, no, you asked me to return to claim my reward, so here I am” Gossoon stammers in fear.
The king rises from his cushion and looks down with an odious stare, pointing at Gossoon.
“You will receive nothing, you deserve nothing, you are to be banished for eternity, and if you return back to my kingdom you will be beheaded. Do you have anything to say?” He addresses.
Gossoon shed one tear and looks upon the queen; she rests ever so quietly as both their eyes connect in gaze.
“Sire, from this day on I hope you find yourself, once something that means so much to you is gone, you will try your hardest to get it back. But I will leave with something that has no weight or colour within your world, something that does not belong to you.”
“If it is not mine, you can have it, now leave and never return!” The king bellows.
Gossoon is picked up and lead from the castle. The king sits, gripping onto his armrests with apathy tapping on his fingertips. The queen leans over.
“Husband, I am feeling rather lightheaded, I think I may take my leave from court and go to bed, my love.” She says ever so gently.
The king leans in for a kiss.
“Yes, my dear. Have your bed maids escort you to our room and I shall be there soon.” The king whispers.
The queen stands and shuffles herself out of the side door, five maids cluster behind her.
That night the king flings his sheets open and creeps into bed next to his beauty. He looks upon her face, thinking he could never love something or someone so much. A kiss upon the lips for the queen.
The queen awakens, squinty eyes at first, she shoots up bright eyed.
“AAAAHHHHHHH! Who are you? Who are you?! Where am I?” The queen falls out of bed and with the balls of her feet she scrapes backwards to the corner of the room.
“My love, my love. It is me, the king.” He pleads with her to know him.
“I have never laid eyes upon you, sir, or this place.” She cries.
“You do not remember me? Is there anything you do remember, my love?” He sobs.
“One thing, I will leave with something that has no weight or colour within your world, something that does not belong to you and I have already taken it; only those words, sir.” She replies rather hypnotized.
Moral of the story, you don’t what you have got until it’s gone and something’s in life are worth so much more than others.
Alex’s Poetic side.
Please let these stars guide me home,
The debt in which I claim, was paid in full,
I crossed that line far from the road,
Lost my mind, I’ve had prison bars of my own,
What do I wish on? When my vision is gone,
A two course collision, with a coping mechanism,
And brute force…
No cross road junctions,
To make me run from these onions,
My function is dysfunction,
Another one bites the dust so I write in blood,
With my pen now I’m lunging in…
I’m deeply lost, but reinforced,
You refuse to keep me close, and I sink further,
Into using the force, now to the dark-side I enter,
A land-slide of words is now my form of murder,
You can analyze each burn,
But your eyes have been banned
By the sights he has earned,
He will rise from the dead,
And give to the world what is deserves in return.
From the ashes I am rising,
Back to balance this horizon,
From this abyss in which I’m climbing,
Of hopelessness, motionless and bribing,
No hope left in this bottomless pit,
Gotta keep a grip, I gotta keep grip…
Having a dream doesn’t mean you’re fool,
Subconsciously knowing it won’t come true,
That might do, when this world laughs at you…
I’m just getting warming up,
I need a way to transform my luck,
From corrupt to construct a good life, I must…
It’s all on my cards; I will take all of the bad, easy or hard,
Because I believe in my heart,
No more cheating the start,
This empty feeling I have,
If you could only see the meaning of that…
I’m still open-minded, the right idea, still hoping to find it,
It’s like I’ve been blinded by the soap trapped behind my eye-lids,
My words are deafening, in this environment of silence,
My Mount Everest I’ve climbed it,
And when I hit the event of my death,
I want people to say…
“Life… That dude tried it”
The shadows violate through my window,
As an unexpected intruder,
Just then time froze and my courage took the form of excluder,
My blanket becomes my shield,
To darkness I am tonight’s last meal,
I dare not move, I dare not stare, beyond that bed, beyond that chair,
All in my head? Or is something on the air?
All my words, all cry help, all unheard as my tongue never dealt…
As my fear along with eyes begin to focus,
Works of ten madmen or witchcrafts hocus-Pocus?
Under my bed, ready to attack,
Is this the menace within my head hidden within the dark?
The door is my guard, my prison,
This room has me finally trapped…
A break for freedom is on a mind echo,
I hate the feeling of being totally alone,
I try and chase the meanings of monsters being within my own home,
Then come back to peace, logic and belief,
Remove my head from the sheets and take another peek.
These Med-kits have no instant direct hit,
On my fucking headaches,
I think I’m addicted, dependant,
Since my hands and legs shake,
I’m still outta’ control,
But depression ain’t nothing baby when we start to roll,
I keep running from them till I’m back in the cold,
My shadow mans pressing buttons,
Messing and fucking me up,
Momma, I just thought you should know,
I was trying to go forward but being pulled back,
Rocking back and forth in the corner,
But I told you as soon as,
You tried to get me the right help,
Now there’s nothing they can do,
Cried every night,
Because my genes set me up in hell,
So you know I had to pull through.
In this dead of night,
I’m in a crisis,
Hells set its sights,
One the righteous,
This precious life is not that priceless,
Can’t be that petrified,
If I’m still fight for rights,
In this dead heat,
I have to separate my feet soon,
And make a break for freedom,
My hands shake and I’m tearful,
We both know time waits for no fool.
I’m hellbound from sell-out to sold out,
Makes a change from living in a cold house,
The welcome mat from red to black is rolled out,
From hell I’m back,
Now you can’t get me back,
I’m something you can’t hold down,
Put me back on my feet,
Hells back to tear words apart,
My world already fell apart,
Looks like you were all sight seeing,
In my live readings, I rest in pieces,
With your peace you police me,
I don’t have my own blood on my hands,
Only delusions of granger in them,
Watch me break these clouds, expose these heavens,
If I can,
I’m writing in venom.
I’m being held by angels,
Does that mean I’m in danger?
And now I can’t stay with you.
I’m afraid that death is my cure,
Have I jumped my last stepping stone?
Letting myself in through heavens door,
Set forth for the light beyond,
From the fight before I have to stay strong,
Laying here going, going, gone,
Then being thrown in the darkest of holes,
My eyes, I have to keep them opened,
The reapers soul shopping,
He says “More often than none”
You will be lowered in to that hole within that coffin.
I had a dream,
That the past has captured me,
A crash test dummy,
For the masters who attached a lead,
And their partners who passed a beat,
I’m in agony,
As my life passes, blinding me,
Living in harmony,
When the harm is put on you by somebody,
Who thinks you’re harmless,
Writing on my body,
With no money and hungry,
I need this,
So I plead my case,
Please miss; provide a recess from this pain,
Can’t be aggressive my mellow mind is to blame,
But the marks on my face and rib-cage,
Have me heading the wrong way.
It’s a hell of long way,
Back to the Promised Land,
To be a common man,
You have a different angle on me,
I’m blinded my this sun-rise,
I think I can make you see that sometimes,
Angry is the only way to be.
This is coming off my chest,
I’m flying off these walls,
All these emotions inside,
Can’t be stalled,
It’s time to break loose,
It’s time to break free,
Alex’s blew a fuse,
Here comes another side of me.
In the current climate I’m loving poverty,
I’m dying in my poetry,
I wish my eyes were born blind,
Because I’m throwing these stones,
I don’t want to see where they land,
When all my hope has gone,
Please keep hold of my hand.
The airs talking to me,
Shadows are walking to me,
Their grip is locking me,
It’s shockingly shaking the room,
Rocking me rapidly, attacking me,
Grabbing me, throwing me, flooring me,
Entity whoring me, grounding me,
Setting about me,
Sky high clouding me,
Shouting loudly at me, “How could he just walk out on his life and still go to sleep?”
“We take over and cause a super-nova, so no one looks at him likes he’s just another freak!”
Watch me deteriorate,
Cause I’m feeling this weight,
Of looking fear in the face,
Seems like now we’re in a race,
In this day and age,
Can’t be without a key for my cage,
What would you say if I wanted out?
“Alex, you’re not seeing this straight, it’s normal for you to be feeling this way.”
Deep down I know it’s the truth,
This is to the world,
Keep me away.
Trying to be a man in a contest world,
Got to find some moral ground,
Before this solider can step out of hell,
Holding out my hand reaching for help,
No one’s there, my problems shared,
Probably best now to leave him troubled,
Just stop and stare,
Watch that guy talk nonsense, pop pills and top himself,
Throw that psycho in a padded cell,
In my eyes, he is not right in the maddening head,
He was once innocent in sense,
Put him in chains,
Now the only time we see that guy is when the weathers changed,
Look, look, the pains he’s in has got him running naked in the rain,
Someone save him from himself,
Think about the danger that crazy kid could put this world in.
I’ve been auctioned off to the night,
Gavel banged and gone,
Now I’m boxed off from life tonight,
Buried with and avalanche of wrong,
The right is to far away,
Gather round my void,
I reach my hand to safety,
But its get to hard just to hang on,
I took a wrong turn,
There is nothing here to compare,
How long this world took to burn,
My soul with its words,
I’m nothing less than nothingness,
Undress my feelings,
Grit my teeth and suffer this,
This planet I may be under this,
But I’m lighting matches,
I’m damned if I do and damned if I didn’t it,
Stuck with these twenty-two catches.
We could be together forever,
Until death do us part,
I would go further than that,
Just to protect both of our hearts,
I would travel to heaven or even to hell,
Bring you back to the living,
So I could take you and make you my world,
I’m opening the ground,
Shouting above and over these clouds,
All I know right now,
Is your soul must be found,
My time flows slow,
Until I find you I am going rouge,
My own soul is rolling over to your cold,
I can’t live this life without you,
Thought I was hands on,
But all I got was random samples,
Of the once existence of a man gone,
Holding me for ransom,
Trapped in this sandstorm,
Like having soap in your eyes,
Grabbing broken cries,
Having both sides in your mind,
Halving then asking for more time,
There is your line,
You stay on your side,
I will stay on mine.
I plead for a divorce from God,
I’ve tried using brute force,
Connecting through Morse code,
What took you so long?
Not God, these kicks aren’t stopping,
I’m the seventh wonder of a problematic motion,
Rocking back and forth in wonder intently,
The persons question is why? In that sentence,
I’m searching for divine intervention,
Mind over body,
But your body learns the lessons.
I put vodka shots in my co-co pops,
Just to ease this suffering,
I’m up and down,
On a trapeze jumping,
Then on my knees numbing,
I should have given my keys to someone,
Now I am swaying back and forth,
Serious, I have plummeted from my summit,
My actions are only criss-cross,
My hands are always fist locked,
Smash the glass, grip and squash,
So now prepare yourself for an avalanche,
Those are camouflaged,
I stand on guard,
People pass so far, fast.
I’m back in this car crash,
Just hit a brick wall,
No… don’t give this kid a call,
You weren’t responsible,
For making the omelets from my broken eggs,
For me now, its mission impossible,
To break free from these straps,
And get out this hospital bed.
Carrying all this dead weight,
On my back,
In my detrimental state, pushing me back,
I’ve had better days in lives chess games,
But not like that, not like that,
No longer running from monsters,
Mobsters or cop stares,
I’m the one in this corner,
Pilled up and I can’t stop there,
Because my storms are chased by doctors,
But more or less the road-rage that I show is,
Causing my prone face to chase the shadows,
God’s good grace homes in to do battles,
With the beast, the freak show animal,
Running down endless corridors,
Penniless but got front-row seats,
To my own personal horror show,
If I get hungry later,
I will follow the bread crumbs home.
It’s too little to late,
Playing piggy in the middle with dire straits,
I’ve got to find fate,
I’ve got a black heart,
But lights in my eyes,
When I break,
My glass shards are exchanged for money rides,
Just one day at a time, dude,
Just one day at a time.
It’s weird how fate hits with crushing blows,
I drown myself in this world’s weight,
This kid there’s nothing lower,
Dismissed – the hurries over,
Fits for overcoming sober,
It’s just that I am running low on,
The love the never showed up,
Just give me my soul back,
Let the cat out the bag,
Because you left this man to go mad,
In the hands of the bad,
I wish I could scratch out my eyes,
Because I don’t want them,
I have lived this modern life,
No way passed,
No way forward.
Today has been a busy day, finished my fifth novel and started my sixth. Wrote and uploaded four new blog posts and in the middle of all that I took the kids to the park, cooked, cleaned.
But it’s all thank to all of you that I am sitting here with a smile in my face. Because of you, everyday I take a step or two to my goals in life.
If you keep reading it, I’ll keep writing it.
Thank you, again. Have a nice night. 😁🙏🏻
This month has been so great, thank you to every one who has came to my site and read my work. Your support upon my work gives me the drive to write more.
Just wanted to share our progress, we will make it eventually. If you guys keep reading I will keep writing. I promise you.
Keep your pens busy and be safe out there.
The world hatched and gave birth to me, silver linings are traced over with bad-luck; I’m mad as fuck, not even military precision prayers could save this mutant of the pen. A pill in my mouth, a bee in my bonnet, high as the clouds, I’m running against comets and anger comments. This motherfucker is climbing out of the gutter, flushing away his past because it’s all shit. Too controlled for suicide; too educated for homicide; so I will imagine them both whilst scratching help signals above my skin. Handicapping and happy-slapping the retard living in my brain, fuck your feelings Alex, for your life, you’re the only one to blame.
Alex, you’re gonna’ die alone. Walking along your path and your only friend will be the freezing breeze to join your cold heart upon an icy chessboard. Cause a supernova of words; turn the cement to flames, skin to lighter fluid and jungles to fire-food. They swept you under the mat and expected you to rebel, I’m telling you; give them a wake-up call to the killing moon. Crimson critics live under your fingernails; green with envy because you are not writing for The Green…
The golden boy shimmers off his shine with a deadly chill. Sucker-punch this fucking world and while they are not looking boot them in the ball into the sun. Exact your revenge upon your Ex-girlfriend who got your hopes up with a fresh start of love, then gave you the middle-finger when she found a new cock to control. Chase after the man who took your smile as a child, run him down and slowly take away his cries. This is the war-cry of a manmade madman, I was not laboratory created and synthesized in a bottle, this is my chemical reaction to this blackened planet with my own two black eyes.
Open my eyes; strapped to the chair and made to watch while everyone took a piece of me and stamped on my innocence as if it were shit. Screaming at the mirror, pulling out my hair, totally lost… I couldn’t talk to the psychiatrist so he kicked me out his club house; the numbness is really taking over, where is he now? Did I fail him or did he fail me? Swallow another pill, self-destruction will cope against hope. I’m a piece of shit; I will never amount past the flies.
I pretend and camouflage well with the nice sane people, but today has taken its toll. Pushing all the right buttons, don’t you know you’re dealing with a potential Killer/Writer? Wipe away a tear and wash away all you are with whiskey, you’re a happy drunk, pilled-up to the eye balls, what are you crying for? You are a party animal.
I’m not trying to shock and awe, you probably haven’t read this far down, I had to get it off my chest. No clean versions to life, so bring your fucking swear words; I was watching my mouth, worry about what I write. Don’t worry baby, I still love sex, I really am a freak in and out of the bedroom. Talent? Stripping skin skillfully sinfully so sufficiently such souls scream soundly sweet as they sleep; sayonara sunrise, scaling scary sights as silly-fuckers still stand still. What more do you fucking want? What more do you fucking need? Have I not bled enough with my pen? I can write, final…
I need out of this dirt-ridden poverty, I barely get by with this bare-trap ankle bracelet chained to my home of the brave. What do you know about the street? …Except staring at us all from your penthouse suites. I turbo my bad-attitude on my blog, enjoy!!
Mommas’ at the gate shouting come on home,
I’ve got so much hate; I’ll be back sometime tomorrow.
Mission impossible break-out from hospital,
This kid has lost his soul, frostbitten to the core,
Make the most of my living,
When everyone doesn’t want me to win,
So I’m going in for the kill,
Showing a sea of people my fin,
The mister of enigma,
Most sinister move finisher,
This is game-over,
Better get another brain-donor,
I can’t borrow because I lost that.
It’s hard out here for a madman,
Apparently I’m equal to a trashcan,
But I’m embarrassingly evil to say the least,
I’m a badman.
But with this pen of mine,
I line all my enemies in a line,
And swipe and rhyme,
This is a fight for life,
Because I have bide my time,
And now you will have to deal with this,
Writing is my meal ticket,
So I will wait my turn,
Then turn wicked.
This is a close encounter of the insane mind,
Frozen at the top of this mountain,
Beyond space and time,
I take the time,
To look at my life and you know what?
I fucking hate mine.
This is coming off my chest,
I’m flying off these walls,
All these emotions inside can’t be stalled,
It’s time to let loose, it’s time to break free,
Alex has blew a fuse, here comes another side to me…
This pen is a monster; it’s the only one that gets me!
I’m coming for it all, one last stand on every piece of paper, crumple it up and use them as bombs or make myself paper airplanes. Extremists, Haha! Please… I’m an extreme extremist; I eat terrorists as if they were bubble-gum, see what I did there? I just blew-up another one. Pop! I’ll be waiting here forever on these pages; a pen as my gravestone, a bunch of blunt pencils as flowers and a papier-mâché coffin. I’m throwing sucker-punches at this page but this isn’t the bible, less holy! My life stinks, I can’t even afford to pay my water bill; I’m the stinky-kid. Help me, I’m a writer! What have I gotten myself involved in? I’m sick of this life; this must be the withdrawal from sanity. What can I do with this life except become a writer; there a light-bulb has just switched on, turn it off! This headache is getting worse. My words jump straight off the page, don’t they? Beware they could blind you.
This whole big bad world has nothing on me, why do you think I peeled off my own skin? I wanted to become appealing to everyone. You cannot do what I do; you can only do what I cannot do, which is stop and fail. I’m now stabbing my eyes with my pen, so I can really see what I am writing for you. Can you see passed my words and see the light? Here, let me put this computer over your head. This is what I’m meant for; to me it’s as if I’m carving my name in cement. It’s that easy!
So throw all your pens up in the air, blacken out my Sun, no matter; I write in the darkness. Human emotion is my only kryptonite; it radiates through and clouds my vision, I just have to remember I’m not human. I live in this pen, I live in these words, now you have read me; I’m on your mind – my job is done. Don’t blame my mother; she did her best to raise Hell! From every litter you must have a runt, that’s me. I’m Mr. Brightside though; I must have rolled on my side on this hellfire. I could always count my blessings in life but I’m a writer, I don’t deal in numbers.
I sleep with this pen every night; I think I have contracted ink-poisoning, it’s life-threatening with every word I scribble. Fame is in a frame on my mantle, I’m in love with her but she is too busy satisfying other people but I will be the love of her life, until we’re both dead! I bucking-bronco off all of my mental baggage, I’m sick of carrying all of the dirty laundry; they call me a pig-headed ass!
Why are you asking me to leave? I don’t even live on this world. These aren’t words, they are only spasms I suffer with, so what exactly are you reading? That’s right, nothingness. Why are you here? You could be writing screenplays, you could be living your perfect life, you could be making money; don’t do what I’m doing, I’m doomed!
On a scale of one to five, in women’s eyes, I’m usually number 4. Why do you think I never step forward in this line up? I don’t want to be underrated. But I did it! It’s like a murder he wrote.
I burst into laughter every time I read my journal, my life is such a sick-joke it’s actually funny. I can’t talk to some people, I get more sense from talking to brick-walls, so I did that and they tried locking me up for that too.
A problem shared is a problem doubled, my words can be infectious. Does Alex live here? Sorry, his upstairs is vacant. This pen is a monster; it’s the only one that gets me. We’re all prisoners behind this mortar; I’m reaching through the brickwork to show you I’m still alive.
And as soon as my stars have aligned, you can then watch me as I shoot! Because I’ll be a Superstar.
Want to Collab? Get in touch.